This weekend, I attended a memorial service for my aunt. Not very long ago, I was saying goodbye to my mother, too. When losses come close together like that, it is difficult not to think about time—how quickly the years pass, the things we meant to do, and the dreams we kept setting aside because there was always supposed to be more time.
Maybe that is why October feels a little different to me this year. We are heading toward the end of another year, and it would be easy to look back and measure everything I haven't accomplished. Life interrupts our plans. We lose people, responsibilities take over, and sometimes we spend so much time simply getting through everyday life that the things we dream about get pushed into the category of someday.
I've spent a lot of my life thinking I was late. There were books I wanted to write, things I wanted to create, and a business I wanted to build. Now, later in life than I once imagined, someday is finally becoming now. I'm publishing books, building Magical Spirit, learning new things, making mistakes, and discovering that there are still so many things I want to do.
Would I have liked to begin some of this twenty years ago? Of course. But I wasn't the person I am now twenty years ago. I hadn't lived through the experiences that shaped me, loved the people I've loved, lost the people I've lost, or learned everything those years would eventually teach me. Maybe some dreams arrive later because we need time to become the person who can carry them.
Loss has reminded me that there will never be enough time for everything, but I don't think that means we should race through whatever time we have left. Maybe it simply means we should make a little more room for the things that matter. Write the first page. Make the thing you've been thinking about. Spend time with someone you love. Give that dream you've been carrying around for years a chance.
There are people I wish were still here to see what I'm creating now, and nothing inspirational I could write will make that part less painful. But their absence doesn't make the time I still have less valuable. If anything, it reminds me not to keep everything waiting for someday.
I don't know how much time any of us gets, but I'm beginning to understand that starting late doesn't mean we missed our chance.
Late is not the same as too late.
There is still time to see where the road leads.